MORE important than beauty or elegance or originality
good:
- short active verbs (http://www.cvisual.com/film-techniques/writer-action-verb-list.asp)
passive verb usage: Johnny goes to bed.
active verb usage:Johnny collapses into bed.
- subjects that match up with their actors
vague: Cost is it not taken into consideration when she buys clothes.
logical: She does not take cost into consideration when buying clothes.
- concision (nifty website to help you practice: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/quizzes/wordy_quiz.htm)
- sustained flow
bad:
- passive voice (http://www.hamilton.edu/style/passive-voice)
passive: The apple was eaten by me.
active: I ate the apple.
- nominalizations: actions expressed as nouns
problem = separates actions from actors
nominalization: An analysis was performed.
revision: Dr. Radic performed an analysis.
- wordiness
- jumps in points of view and time
jumps: One can follow path, or you can make your own path.
revision: You can follow the path or make your own path.
writing plainly: avoiding frills and ornaments
faster, makes arguments easier to follow, increases chances that a busy reader will want to read
good:
- short active verbs
- simple sentences
simple sentence: independent clause-e.g.: I like to play tennis.
compound sentence: two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction-e.g.: Yesterday, I thought I had finished my homework, but I had actually forgotten all about my biology project.
complex sentence:independent and dependent clause joined by a subordinate conjunction-e.g.: While you do get a say, I have the power to make the final decision.
- stronger verb to carry more of the load
weak: She was hungry, so she ate the bread.
strong: She devoured the bread.
- read this for additional information: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/be-heard-speak-plainly.html
bad:
- long, complex sentences
- abandoning style altogether
concision: getting to the point
directly connected to clarity
good:
- action-oriented subject-verb constructions that match syntax with logic
bad:
- wordiness
- empty words and phrases
empty: Women held an importance place in social society.
revision: Women held an importance place in society.
rhetoric: persuading by means of stylistic and structural techniques
writing and speaking is a series of strategic choice
- diction: word choice
- parallelism
unparallel: He ate food, bought clothes, and he went to the movies.
parallel: He ate food, bought clothes, and went to the movies.
- repetition: allows writer to drive home image, idea, or relationship
powerful example = MLK’s “I Have a Dream Speech” (http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm)
- using tenses consistently
- alliteration: should be used sparingly (like strong spices)
- rule of three
third term often enfolds the other two in a general theme
- humor: should be used sparingly
- first and second person: you is informal
- questions and exclamations: far better technique for emphasis is taking advantage of the natural rhythms of sentences
syntax: artfully manipulating rules governing the construction of sentences
Authors sometimes break the “Nuts and Bolts” rules in order to create more tone in their writing!
sentence variety
- pace: faster, slower, suspense
- emphasis/attention
construction length
- directs tone
- comparative
- subject-verb-object (SOV or subject-verb-complement (SVC); notice departure from this type
- beginning/end = high emphasis spots
- middle = trying to bury the information
e.g.: Think about an SAT essay. You always want your strongest arguments to go first and last. You sandwich the weakest argument in the middle of your paper.
- Short sentences convey action and ideas more forcefully than longer sentences.
- Present tense conveys actions and ideas more forcefully than past tense.
- Sentence fragments: lyrical, poetic “sound” or choppy, distressed “sound”
- Verbals (when a verb is being used as another part of speech) generally are lower energy.
- Imperatives are more forceful than declaratives.
- -ing verbs are particularly forceful.
- Passive voice can be used to create an impersonal tone.
- Conjunctions can be used as sentence openers to clarify a relationship.
- Conjunctions can be used to create a smooth rhythm.
deliberate omission = asyndeton-casual, hurried, sometimes poetic tone
- Inverted syntax can provide emphasis/draw attention.
- Interrupters create suspense between the subject and predicate.
- Interrogatives are useful for questioning assumptions.
- Punctuation can be deliberately chosen to create specific effects.
- Syntax can also be used to imitate actions or images.
*How does the author use technique (syntax) to create effect (tone) and what does it mean?
Overall Connections:
- Effective writing pays attention to and synchronizes all the elements that these notes mentioned. The pieces of writing we analyzed in the “Syntax” packet were all very good examples that used all of these elements to shape their moods and tones.
- All this connects to the essays we’re trying to write for college applications. We want to have a voiceand we want to communicate clearly as well as concisely. Many admissions officers and English teachers emphasize the plain style; we shouldn’t go out of our ways to include “$50 words” if that is not the way we usually sound.
- something to consider: http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/george-orwells-5-rules-for-effective-writing/
Sources:
packet: http://nutsandbolts.washcoll.edu
packet: Artful Sentences: Syntax as Style by Virginia Tufte
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